In Love with a Straight Guy

I finally understand the hurt I caused you.

It wasn’t intentional.  I promise.

I guess I wanted to be better, wished I could learn to love you.

I can’t control my heart.  Even if it tears me in two to love him.

I must.

I could write a hundred sonnets and still not be finished describing you in perfect detail.

The words, and they are all I have, are of no consequence.

But at least they’re proof.  We will never be together.  I understand this and accept it.

How can a man who loves women be with a man who loves men?

And yet the devil is in the details.  And in the details we’re in love.

You told me so, a marriage proposal no less, though you weren’t down on one knee.

I can’t explain how the very thought of you, even thousands of miles away utterly fills me.

My molecular structure is in tune with your very name.  Conjure it and my body alights. 

I love you, I always will.  Until this flame is extinguished and I pass forward onto a new existence.  My only hope is that in that lifetime we are destined together.

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